I'm at work and in the middle of finishing my Ceramics homework before I have to leave for class. So instead of a lengthy post, here are today's highlights:
Now, back to my homework...
Some people have been noticing the lack of posts this week. This was due to two factors: 1-I am very busy with my summer classes and spend most of my lunch hours doing homework instead of updating my blog, 2-I have been a naughty, naughty girl in regards to the weight-loss competition and I knew if I posted anything, I'd have to fess up. Ah well, since I am down again this week, I'll come clean.
The big badness is that I skipped my Wednesday and Friday workouts again. I know. I'm terrible. I wish I didn't like sleep so much or that I could bring back the insomnia I had a few months ago. My mornings are a mess-if I don't get up at the same insanely early time as my husband, I sleep right through the later alarm. It wasn't as much of an issue before, but with the late classes I am just so tired. Hopefully I can make it through the next few weeks without gaining weight or getting fired. My late classes end soon and the next class gets out before 9pm. I am definitely looking forward to the 2 weeks in August that I will be free of classes. Since we are too poor for a vacation, I will be drinking ice cold diet soda and watching TV on DVD. I miss TV.
Speaking of school, I have excellent news from my accounting class. Last night we got back our first full test and .....drum roll..... I had the highest grade out of both classes that my teacher teaches (over 60 students). I only got one question wrong, which was worth 1.5 points, but I got the 2 point bonus question right, so my score was 106.5 out of 106. My teacher came over during break and asked if I work in accounting (I don't). I told him I was taking the class for fun out of curiosity. When he left the room, everyone wanted to know who had gotten the highest grade (he had written the score on the front board). I was shrinking down in my seat, but the woman next to me sold me out. Then she started telling everyone that I'm so nice and I help her out all the time. It's true. She and another student have been saving me a seat between them so they can ask me questions. It makes me feel good. I love helping people.
Another warm fuzzy moment happened later in the class when I was helping the woman who blew my cover. She stopped me and said, "You should be a teacher. You're so calm and patient and the way you explain things makes them make sense." I almost started crying because my number 2 reason for finishing college is so that I can teach. The number one reason is to put my past mistakes behind me. Anyway, when she said that to me so genuinely, it made me so happy. I happy now just writing about it. Warm fuzzies!
To get back to my confession of naughtiness, I ate about 20 pounds of sugar this week. During the day I ate only healthy foods, but I ate very small amounts. One day, all I ate until 11pm was a chicken breast and a piece of cheese. That night, I hit the Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches again. I don't usually have much of a sweet tooth, but the last two weeks I've gotten into this weird pattern where I'm not hungry all day and then I want sweets at night. The good and bad thing is that I've continued to lose weight. The only negative thing is that I've been tired, but I've been tired ever since classes started. This weekend I plan on preparing several days of prepacked meals for next week. I also plan to go to kickboxing class tomorrow (for real this time).
And now for the numbers. As of today, I weigh 196.2 lbs. That's 1.2 lbs down from last week. My pants are very loose.
Have a great weekend, y'all!
Today marks the beginning of week 8 of the Weight-loss Challenge. There's good news and bad news, but definitely more good than bad. The bad news is that yesterday I did not go to the kickboxing class I was so excited about. I thought that I was going to be alone on Fathers' Day, but my husband finished his commitments early and was home all day with me. I couldn't resist having a leisurely Sunday snuggle with my hubby instead of going boxing at 10am. I also couldn't resist my pillow and the air conditioning. Apparently I hadn't thought the Sunday morning exercise thing through too clearly. That's the bad news. The good news is everything else!
I had a great weekend. I spent Saturday downtown with my mom and, even though she was still critical of my temporarily blond hair, she kept telling me how much of a difference she notices in my body. She said that my hips are getting smaller and smaller, which is great, because that's where most of my fat lives. Sunday I got to be showered with compliments again (ah-such a life), this time by my husband. We were hugging and he kept running his hands up and down my sides, saying how small my waist is getting and that I'm getting my nice curves back. I weigh more than I did a year or two ago, but I'm getting excited about my figure again, even in the 190s. Strength training makes such a difference. I found some measurements from 2 years ago and although I was 20 pounds lighter, my arms were an inch bigger and my thighs were two inches bigger. (My waist was smaller, but I'm working on that now.)
The fact that I still managed to lose weight last week despite falling off the exercise wagon was great, but I don't want to push my luck. Accordingly, I went to my workout this morning. My regular trainer is on vacation this week, so we have a substitute. She's a girl close to my age who teaches a lot of the Tuesday/Thursday groups. I've mentioned here before that I am very attached to my workout group members and I don't really like working out with other groups. Apparently the same thing applies to trainers. This girl is very nice, but she's also very petite and perky, which is not the best thing for me at 8am on a Monday morning. I'm not looking for a drill sergeant, but every time she chirped, "You're doing great! Way to go!" all I could hear in my head was "Shut up. Shut up. Please shut up!" It's not her fault, I am just the epitome of not being a morning person. Ask my mom, aka "Suzy Sunshine." Chipperness in the morning makes me want to throw things. Jeff, please come back from vacation soon!
More good news: the powers that be have decided to extend the weight loss program for an additional 12 weeks for the top 50 participants. I think I'm around number 25, so it looks like I'll be getting another three months of training. The second round will be ending in mid-October. That will be great because I'll have guidance/hand-holding/training through the season change. Hopefully after a total of 24 weeks of training I will have such good habits that I won't succumb to the temptation to start eating and sleeping more in the Fall. If I continue losing my average of 1.5 pounds per week, I could lose another 24 pounds by then. That would put me in the low 170s which has been my average weight since 1993. Ideally I'd lose more than that, but with these smaller thighs I've been building, I'm sure 170 will look much better than I remember.
That's all folks. I have Ceramics tonight. Hopefully I will get out before 11pm, unlike last week. In case I haven't mentioned it, Accounting is much more fun than Ceramics.
I almost skipped my weigh-in today. I even wore my jeans instead of the thin black pants I usually wear on Fridays, because it was a mental nose thumbing at weighing in. It's kind of hard to rebel against yourself though, so I decided to go to weigh-in at 3:30pm even though I was sure I had gained this week and even though I was wearing heavy jeans. I missed two workouts this week (Wednesday and today) so I was prepared for a gain. BUT........
I lost weight this week! Apparently my adherence to my diet made up for my lack of exercise. I lost .6lbs this week, bringing me to 197.4lbs with jeans on (so probably more like 2lbs down without them). When I looked at the scale I yelled, "What?," but I'll take the loss even if it doesn't make sense. What this means, people, is that I have officially lost 10lbs. I am pleased.
I can't wait for my kickboxing class on Sunday. Rawr!
I can't believe it's Thursday already. I haven't posted in a few days, because my new schedule is absolutely nuts. On paper it didn't look so bad, but I forgot to figure in two things: homework and sleep. Accounting is not so bad: I've been doing my homework at lunchtime and in class. My Ceramics assignments are much more involved inside and outside of class. Last night, I did not leave campus until 11:15pm and that was only so my husband could stop worrying about where I was. Sleep these days seems to be something I only do when I should be getting to work or to my workout.
I've been exhausted all week. Being in class until 10 or 11pm is much different than watching TV until that hour. When I get home I'm still all wound up, so I end up staying up for another hour or two to relax. Getting up at 6:30am yesterday to make it to my workout was out of the question. I didn't even make it in to work today until 10:30am. Thank goodness I only have these classes for another five weeks. I'm taking another class during the second summer session, but it gets out at 8:40pm. I'll be able to get to bed at a decent hour and do things like cook and do laundry (the other reason I missed Wednesday's workout is that my gym clothes were all so dirty they could have walked downtown on their own).
On one hand, I feel bad. I am slacking on my workouts and food preparation. I am sucking at my job and spending half my work hours sleeping or doing homework. On the other hand, I'm sticking to my priorities, so screw the guilt. I want to be skinny and have enough money to keep my house, but my number one priority right now is to finish school. If I have to find another job or it takes an extra six months to lose the weight, so be it. As long as I'm making progress toward my degree and not slacking off in my classes, I'm ok with that. I don't feel ashamed of my weight or my career progress. I do feel very ashamed of the way I conducted and demolished my academic career. So if I fix that, I will have much more happy happy joy joy to spread to the other areas of my life.
So there, I said it. I am prepared to accept failure at two very important things in order to succeed at what is most important to me. Just because the idea makes me hyperventilate doesn't mean I don't accept it. I'm not saying I'm giving up on the job and the weight-loss, I just know I can't put enough effort towards them to do well. I guess it's penance. I get to do school the hard way now since I dropped out of school five times and threw away a $40,000/year scholarship when I had the chance to do things the easy way. Ah, well. My eventual graduation party will be much more kick ass than if I would have had it five years ago. My hubby and my nieces will be there now and I have a huge backyard. I may even make my cats wear party hats.
Saturday afternoon, I attended my first cardio kickboxing class. If there were ever a workout made for me, this is it. I was expecting a cardio class where we'd be standing in rows and punching the air, but it was so much better than that. We got to wear boxing gloves and whale on the heavy bags. Punches and roundhouse kicks are much more fun when you are actually hitting something. It was an intense workout, but I didn't want it to end. As soon as the hour was up, I called my husband and told him I wanted a heavy bag for my birthday. Having this class once a week is not enough. I am in love....with kicking ass.
This morning's workout seemed boring compared to the kickboxing class, but at least I made it (almost) on time. I got to tell my trainer the results from Friday's weigh-in-he was proud. We added one new exercise to our routine today, which Jeff referred to as "hop-hop-squat." It's exactly what it sounds like. I didn't think it would be very difficult since squats have been getting easy for me, but after doing them for a minute straight my legs were burning. At one point I caught my reflection as I was coming up out of a squat and...I think I saw a thigh muscle. I'm not used to seeing muscles in my legs. I can always feel them, but they are hard to see with all the fat covering them up.
This weekend I started to get a lot of comments on my weight loss. It is so good to know that other people can see it. I can tell a difference, but I'm consciously checking myself out in the mirror looking for one. It means much more coming from someone else. I was a little down yesterday after seeing myself in some pictures and thinking, "I still look huge!," but I guess I am still huge. That doesn't take anything away from my weight loss though, and I have another 6+ weeks of guided workouts to shrink through. The power of positive thinking helped me last week, so I'm going to stick with it.
Damien, the head trainer, sent out a spreadsheet with the results of the top twenty people so far. I didn't make the top twenty, but it was good inspiration to see where everyone is. I need to step up my efforts. This weekend was the third weekend in a row where I took both days off the diet. That has got to stop. It hasn't really hurt my results yet, but I imagine I'd lose more without, say, the four slices of pizza I ate last night. It shouldn't be too hard to buckle down on the weekends as long as I head into them with a plan. This weekend I'm going to kickboxing on Sunday, but there is a good chance it will be followed with alcohol. I'm not sure what else to do on Fathers' Day since my dad recently died and both grandfathers are gone, too, so drinking it is! I figure if I hit the bag hard enough in class I won't need to drink as much.
Tonight I have my first Ceramics class. I'm excited to find out what we'll be doing. I'm sure the class is going to be fun, because I am having a blast in my Accounting class. Yes, I said I am having a blast in my Accounting class. It's not as much fun as I used to have in Calculus, but I dig it. I'm such a numbers person. I love it when problems have answers. I wish life was more like math.
In middle school, my nickname was Coolness, or sometimes The Coolness. Granted, only one friend called me that, but she wrote it all over my books, so I think it still counts. The last time I've thought about that nickname was when I was sharing some old school pictures with my husband. Today I'm thinking about it because it's official-I am The Coolness. I've just returned from my six week weigh in and I rocked the heck out of it.
When I walked up to weigh in, Damien, the head trainer who is leading this whole program, said, "When you get on that scale, I want to see 199 point something!" To which I replied that I did, too. So I got on the scale and, drum roll, please, I weighed in at 198 lbs and my body fat was down almost another full percent. After I made my way around the room to collect my high fives, I got my measurements taken. They do everything in centimeters so I won't post the detailed numbers until I get a nice little conversion chart going, but I've lost 2 inches off my waist and 2.5 inches off my thigh over the past six weeks. My total weight loss over the past six weeks is 9.4 lbs. Ah, it is good being The Coolness. Time to go home and flaunt my shrinking self in front of my husband.
Have a great weekend!
First things first: I haven't been doing so well at the getting up at 6:30am thing this week. I missed my workout yesterday and I was so late to work that I couldn't leave to go to the 11am workout. I feel bad about it, but I'm moving on. That's all I'm saying about that. Now on to the fun stuff-pictures! Here is possibly the grossest picture of me ever, taken the weekend before the challenge started. As grainy and out of focus as it is, you can still tell I'm lumpy and dumpy (that's really me-I've dyed my hair blond for the summer).
207.4 lbs
Here's a picture from about two weeks into the competition. Help! There's too much face on my face!
204ish lbs
Here is a picture that I took today. Still a lot of extra face, but it's looking much better. 
200ish lbs
Alas, here is a picture of me from 2005 when I first lost weight on the South Beach diet. I was at my lowest weight since 7th grade. Look-I'm eating pie in the picture. It was the beginning of the end. (Granted, it was a month after my father died-I needed pie.)
164 lbs
So there you have it. I'm not anywhere close to my goal weight yet, but I'm making progress. My goal weight is 135 lbs. I might look like a stick figure at that point, but I've never been close enough to tell. I chose that goal because when I was in the 160s, I still clearly had at least another 20 lbs to lose based on the fat deposits left on my thighs. If I reach 135 lbs, it will put me in the middle of the healthy weight range for my height. Right now, however, I would just love to get back down to 165 lbs. I wore a size 10 at that point and have a ton of great clothes for that size.
I've been eating great the last few days, despite missing my workout. I have another workout tomorrow and I am going to a kickboxing class on Saturday. I'm slowly working my way toward skinny. We'll see how close I'm getting tomorrow. It's weigh-in day and they are also taking our measurements. Also, starting next week , we'll be able to access a spreadsheet that shows where we stand in the competition. Everyone will be assigned a number to keep things anonymous on the chart. I'm doing this more to lose weight than win money, but I still can't wait to see where I stand.
I finally found a way to make the protein shakes taste good! When the overly sweet powder is mixed with unsweetened soy milk, it comes out perfect. It is almost delicious. I'm so happy I finally found a way to like this stuff, because many of my meals have to be consumed on the go. My new schedule is wake at 6:30am, workout from 8-9am, work from 9am-5pm, commute from 5-6pm, class from 6-10pm. That's Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Holy. Wow.
Last night I ate three Neapolitan ice cream sandwiches. Earlier in the day I ate an entire burrito from Chipotle. In between, for a snack, I drank 4 glasses of juice. Saturday, my husband and I ate and entire loaf of garlic bread in one sitting. For the rest of the day, all I 'ate' was vodka and beer. Oh, and Swedish fish. And some taco dip. Friday night, we ate giant heaps of greasy Chinese food. Just in case anyone reading this thought that I never pig out, now you know. This weekend, I hogged out.
The one good thing I can report food-wise is that my husband and I finally went to the store to restock our kitchen. We bought a 12 pound bag of frozen tilapia fillets to add some variety to the chicken or chicken that we eat whenever I actually cook. We also raided the frozen veggie case and the deli counter. Once my classes start (TOMORROW!), I'll be eating my dinner in the car while I drive to school. Sandwiches and roll ups are the only things I could think of that are portable enough. Tonight I am going to make something up with tilapia, lemon, and tomatoes to enjoy my last fork and knife dinner for a while.
My husband is helping me get through the disgusting cookies and cream protein powder so that we can buy a better flavor. He tried it with milk and said it tastes like the milk that's left after you dip cookies into it. I tried it with milk today and I still think it's disgusting. I am gladly donating it to the "get my husband to eat breakfast" cause.
My approach to exercise lately has been better than my approach to food, but not as good as it should be. I haven't missed any training sessions, but I didn't do any extra cardio last week or over the weekend. I will do some tonight no matter what, because I was late to my training this morning and because I won't be able to work out after work once classes start.
Losing weight is hard. I realized this last week when I was feeling pouty and wondering why I'd been putting in so much work and not seeing the results I want. I realized that the answer isn't in finding what I'm doing wrong (unless you look at this past weekend, but I had my epiphany before that), but in accepting that this is is going to take a long time and a lot of work, and sticking with it. Throwing a tantrum in my head about how I think I should be losing weight faster isn't going to make that happen. If it's going to come off slowly, it's going to come off slowly, but it won't come off at all if I quit because I think slow weight loss isn't fair. Which reminds me of my favorite quote from my favorite movie, "Labyrinth." The main character says, "It's not fair!" and Jareth the goblin king says, "You say that so often. I wonder what your basis for comparison is." Ah, "Labyrinth." I'm convinced that movie contains all the secrets of life.
My workout this morning was brief since I was late, but I'm still sore. We didn't do anything particularly challenging (other than 10 minutes of ab work with no rest), but my shoulders and thighs are killing me. Maybe it is the lack of nutrition this weekend. Hopefully that means that if I eat right, I won't be sore on Wednesday.
This Friday is the halfway point in the competition. I feel like I've lost my mojo. If you see it, please send it my way so that I can have a stellar week and break 200 lbs by Friday.
I didn't post yesterday, because my boss let us leave the office early. We still don't have internet at my house, but sometimes our laptop picks up a neighbor's connection. This is going to be brief because I'm writing it with the laptop balanced on top of our cats' playhouse since that is the only place we're getting a connection. I feel oh so high tech.
The workout yesterday was ok. I made it there on time for the 9am class. I just didn't have much energy and the rest of my group was dragging too. We got a good workout, but it seemed to take forever. The highpoint was when the tiniest girl in my class was wowed by my ability to do wall squats and carry on a conversation at the same time as if it was nothing at all. Jeff told her it's because I'm 'not messing around.' Yes, I work hard at the workouts-even this week when I was barely doing anything else right.
There's no question that I've gained muscle. This week I gained almost a pound, but I lost another percent of body fat. Weight: 201.4 lbs. Body fat: 40.6%. I know the secret to losing weight while building muscle is added cardio, but I didn't do any of that this week. I walked for hours last weekend, but those were also the days I drank and ate greasy food. Next week is a new week and I know what to do.
That's all, folks. My cat is kicking me off of her house now. Happy weekend!
